reality check

hahahaha... feeling ko nung past few weeks eh napakakulelat na ng buhay ko... then today, nakita ko ang isang bb post sa friendster ng dati kong ka-office mate. mi ultimo adios ang sinulat niya. pero sinulat niya in spanish (or copied somewhere?!?!) so kinailangan ko pang itranslate. buti na lang may google hahaha... anyways, nung nabasa ko yung message, parang shiets ang depressed ng taong ito. and ang desperado ng dating! that's when i realized na hindi ako depressed, hindi ako desperado. dahil ang mga naiisip ko ay di naman katulad dun sa BB post... nag-iinarte lang ako hahaha

i'm in a new york state of mind...

20 days to go bago bumalik ng pilipinas...

pero kelangang sa new york muna bumalik!!!

waahhh gusto ko nyan... gusto ko nyan... GUSTO KO NYAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

i hate self-righteous bitches

hay... deja vu... talagang toto na those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. and i am repeating it... hay...

too close for comfort...

i'm crossing the line...

haha moody na naman...

pesteng utak 'to...

When you believe in things that you don't understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain't the way

flavor of the month

hahaha peste ka. salot sa buhay ko!

wtf?!?!?!

i was watching clips of fantasia during her days on american idol and i was shocked to see this: simon cowell clapping while someone is performing! fantasia is singing a fool in love and simon was clapping along with the rest of the audience! now that's a sight i never saw this season and in the last season... woohoo!

new love

oh my... living in the united states suddenly got interesting... i found a new love. and it is an unexpected one. and who is this new love? well it's not a who, it's a what. it is Grey's Anatomy.

gaaahhhh!!! i love this show! i've said for a long time that i haven't found a show this season that i'm gonna go gaga over (the way i went gaga over desperate housewives and lost). i've heard a lot of good things about grey's anatomy but i thought it was gonna be a fluffy medical soap drama. boy was i s urprised when i watched my very first episode. it was the post super-bowl episode (the one with the guy who had a bomb inside his chest) and it was so good! i love the drama and the humor and how both are balanced quite well. but i was not hooked. i didn't know who the characters are or what the storyline has been like.

second episode i watched was good as well but it did not get the whoah reaction i had on the first. and then last night, i watched my third episode. and it was AMAZING! i will not tell you about the story last night (mainly because i'm not a good storyteller), but i guarantee that it's good. i've never seen such a perfect tv show. the actors were great, the storylines of the patients were funny and sad at the same time, and sandra oh is just brilliant!

now when i leave the usa, i'm sure as hell i'm gonna suffer from withdrawal with the absence of this show in the philippines. but i'm hoping star world or studio 23 or rpn 9 will pick up this gem of a show.

in the meantime, i'll buy the first season dvd... and spend the rest of my nights here laughing, crying, and whooping with delight at this show.

mis ur lav!!!

oh shiets... nakausap ko ang mga kasamahan ko na naglalakihan ang hinaharap: si aena at si mikki! hahaha... nakakamiss silang kausap... yun nga lang si aena eh medyo parang inaantok nung kausap ko so sandali lang kami nagtalkie-talk, about 5 minutes... si mikki ayun medyo matagal ang chat session namin. 15 minutes. hahaha matagal na yun considering the circumstances... kakamiss boses nila... tapos nasayahan pa ako sobra nung sinabi ni mikki na "misurlav!!!" grabe namiss ko yung expression na yun... mis ur lav... miss ko na kayo :D

linggo

it's a sunday today... at nasa OFFICE ako ngayon... bleeh... madami daw kasi papasok sa queue namin due to Japanese proxy season... Pero kapag hindi ganun kadami ang dumating sa queue ko, PESTE!!! nagising ako ng maaga, sunday na sunday... hahahaha...

dakilang ilusyonado, ikaw ba yang nakikita ko?

is there a twinkle in my eyes once again?

alco...

i'm beginning to sound like an alcoholic... for weeks now, i've been telling my companions here in the usa that i wanna get drunk... as in really drunk. whenever there's beer available, i drink some. i'm always telling them that we should have an "inuman" session. i really wanna get drunk! why? ...

Can't take my eyes off you.

.-.-.-.

Wala na daw ang Sex Bomb dancers sa Eat Bulaga.

Kagulo na talaga sa 'Pinas...

Hahahahaha :P

Feeling Good lyrics

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom in the tree
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

And I'm feeling good

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

nababaliw na ako dito... shiets...

...

i think this is for real... i am doing what i used to do with the others. and observing behavioral patterns is a pretty good way of confirming the validity of different things... this is a pattern. this is a trend. this is for real.

i hate this.

the wheels are turning...

OCD or Mysophobia?

A lot of people say that I am "OC" -- Obsessive Compulsive -- due to my habit of always using isopropy alcohol or hand sanitizers. But I don't believe that I have this disorder. I'm not OC when it comes to the cleanliness of my room or my appearance or whatever... I'm just OC when it comes to germs.

So if I don't have OCD, then what do I have? Well I haven't consulted a psychiatrist or a psychologist or whatever about this but I think I have a phobia. And what kind of phobia? There are three possibilities:

1. Misophobia or Mysophobia - Fear of being contaminated with dirt or germs.
2. Spermatophobia or Spermophobia - Fear of germs.
3. Verminophobia - Fear of germs.

Weird sounding phobia names... Especially the second one, which sounds more like a fear of sperm. And I certainly don't fear sperm (bwahahahaha!). So I'm guessing that I have the first one. Mysophobia. Oooohhhh... Self-diagnosis is so much fun.

Adaptation

I'm not the kind of homosexual who is uber-comfortable with my sexuality. Yes, a lot of people already know that I am gay and they have pretty much accepted it. But at the same time, I am wary as to whether or not they are comfortable with my being gay. I cannot just go "If you can't accept me for who I am, then so be it!"

So whenever I am with other people, I try to determine first if they are okay with acts, jokes or expressions that are gay in nature. If they are okay with it, lantaran naaaa! If they are not, then I try to be subdued or limit my gay tics. I guess you can say I have different levels of gayness, depending on the situation or the company.

Why do I this? Why can't I just act the same way with all kinds of people? Because I don't want to be the cause of awkwardness, I don't want to offend people, I don't want to make them uncomfortable. Some people may say that I should try to be myself all the time. But then I realized that I am being myself. I am the kind of person who'd try the best that he could to not ruffle other people's feathers not just with my homosexuality but with my other idiosyncrasies as well.

So yeah, I change myself to be liked by others. Or more appropriately, to NOT be UNLIKED by others. But I'm okay with that. Adaptation is the best way for me to survive this crazy world.

Katharine Mcphee!

Wala lang, crush ko siya bwahahaha... Straight na ulit ako :P

I love her in American Idol... Mga favorites ko as of today is Chris Daughtry (hunky rocker!), Mandisa! (big girl, big voice!), Katharine McPhee (so pretty to look at and to listen to as well), Elliott Yamin (love his voice!), and Will Makar (cute kid... shet pedophile!). Unfortunately, wala ako masyadong alam sa kanilang lahat kasi di ako masyado nakakapanood ng AI dito... Le sigh...

nakakapagod pala magpakabading... :P

"God loves you just the way you are, but too much to let you stay that way"

I love Amy Adams... I can't wait to watch Junebug!

.....

I love this song... And maybe it's because I'm in the USA and I'm sick of being here that this song has taken new meaning even if it is officially a love song and I have no love life right now.

"Home"

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be allright
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

samu't saring bagay na naman...

bakit ganun ang pag-ibig? palaging wrong timing... kung kelan gusto mong ma-in-love ka, wala ka namang napupusuan... kung kelan gusto mong maging single, atsaka ka hahanapin ni kupido...

nagliligawan kaya ang mga bading? bigayan ng flowers, tsokolate, may kasama pang harana... or parang US style kaya na wala nang courtship? date, date, date tapos boom! ayan magsesex na kayo...

posible kaya talagang ma-in-love ka sa isang tao sa pamamagitan ng internet lamang? makipagchat ka ng kaunti, mag-exchange kayo ng litratos, enough na kaya yun para mahulog ang loob mo?

ano kayang feeling na masetup ka sa isang blind date? nakakatakot siguro talaga kasi hindi mo kilala kung sino ba ang kikitain mo. kung swertehin, gwapo't mabait ang blind date. eh paano kung pangit at masama?

nagwwork kaya talaga ang gayuma? meron akong gustong gayumahin... bwahaha... pero may ganun ba talaga na epektibo? kaunting mix lang ng mga ingredients, ihalo ang laway mo, ayan na! in love na si petra sayo...

times like these, you need a boyfriend...

oh no... i think this is for real

too sleepy to function... YAWN!

it has begun...

Crash and Burn Brokeback!!!

Oh yeah... I loved the Oscars last night. Well, I was actually bored and irritated as hell throughout the freaking telecast. John Stewart was good although not as laugh-out-loud funny as Billy Crystal would've been. Some of the people I wanted to win did not (boohoo to Felicity Huffman, John Williams, and Amy Adams!). There were one too many montages that did not really have any significance. And there were only three Best Song nominees so there were only three performances (at least there was the musical score performance by that violist guy, which was fantastic). Yes, I was not liking the Oscar telecast this year at all.

And then, Crash won.

Oh yeah! Woohoo! I was totally not expecting to see Brokeback Mountain get defeated in the Best Picture race but it happened! The biggest surprise of the night was saved for last. While Brokeback Mountain was a good film (and the only one I've seen among the five nominees), it was not something that I loved, which is why I was not rooting for it. And even if I have no idea if the other four films are any good, I was cheering them on. So good job Oscars for surprising a lot of us with this upset.

Now I've gotta rent Crash and watch it!

The Three Week Mark

Today is my 22nd day in the USA... Three weeks! Goodness... I haven't been away from home this long... The longest was 10 days. I still have to stay for five weeks or so.

I still don't miss anything specific. I'm not homesick. I'm just sick of the tediousness of my stay here. Our hotel is in the middle of nowhere. There's no nearby mall. No McDonald's or 7-11 to go to whenever I'm bored. And I am bored right now. Unfortunately, my only option is the hotel lobby. Bleeh...

Today's a Saturday. If I'm in the Philippines, I would've woken up at about 11:30, waited for lunch to be cooked by my father, then read the newspaper, bum around until around 3, take a bath, then go grocery shopping. Today in the USA, I woke up at 10, stared into space for a couple of hours, ate Yan-yan for lunch, watched Lost, took a bath, stared into space some more, and now I'm blogging. After this, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Maybe I'll stare into space again.

My officemates and I are supposed to go to the mall today. Maybe do some shopping, watch a movie, definitely eat. But all of my officemates are nowhere to be found. I'm not sure if we are still going to the mall. Maybe they are in their rooms right now...

I really am fucking bored.

...

my mind is wandering...
i cannot focus...
too many distractions...
or too few brain cells...
i am bored...
i have a headache...
too many plans...
i just want to rest...
can i go back now?

Winter Olympics

I've been a big fan of the Olympics even if I'm not a big fan of sports. I really don't know why I watch it. Maybe it's the dazzling opening and closing ceremonies or the amazing feats of athleticism... I really don't know why I am drawn to this event but I always take the time to watch the Summer Games and it has been a dream of mine to witness the winter version of it.

And now thatI am here in the USA, my dream has finally come true. For the first time ever in my life, I have been able to watch the Winter Olympic Games.

Now as I come from a tropical country, we rarely get to witness any winter sport. The closest I've come to watching winter sports is when there are some figure skaters practicing at the rink in SM Southmall. So it is very exciting to get to watch all these winter sports. It's a particular pleasure to watch the ice dancing and speed skating competitions...

But last Sunday, the Winter Olympics came to an end. While I haven't been able to watch the Games everyday (and I missed the opening ceremony! so sad) like what I did with the Athens Summer Olympics, it was still very satisfying. I hope I'll get the chance to watch the Winter Games again. Maybe I'll go to Canada in 2010...