pix

i lost my digicam about a month ago. actually, i'm not sure if i lost it or if someone stole it but the point is, it's gone. now when i lost my camera, i was not very bummed out about it. you see i've lost so many things in the past before that i'm practically numb when it comes to situations like this. also, while i did buy the digicam with my own money, it really isn't my own money. yeah it's confusing but if you only know the whole story, you'll get what i'm saying.

but now, i miss my digicam. a lot. there are times wherein i would be seeing something great or be in a picture snapping situation and i just can't!!! true, i can use my crappy phonecam but as i said, it's quite crappy. and it can only hold about 5 more pictures before its memory becomes full. so now, i'm thinking of buying a new digicam. but i'm thinking as well of my financial capabilities. while i can afford buying one, is it really a necessity? so i'm also thinking of alternatives. maybe a good camera phone would be better. or maybe i can buy a film camera. bwahahaha!

I'm Moving On

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

--Rascal Flatts

matira matibay

Two years ago, blogging became quite the fad among my orgmates. One person started blogging nice essays and then another did the same thing then all of a sudden, blogs abounded! I've been blogging long before my friends discovered it but when all of them started their own blogs containing mostly essays, I became a copycat with regard to their style. You see everyone was writing essays with deep meaning and everyone was praising one another so I wanted to be praised myself. But I always had an issue with their "praises" that never really tried to provide constructive criticism and the "praises" that are pretty misguided (it seems that finding symbolism in the mundane, no matter how forced those symbolisms are, always impresses others). I tried my hand at writing essays with deep meaning but I was never any good at it. And since I had issues with the whole praising thing, I reverted to my old routine of writing about anything, even if what I am writing does not have any meaning.

But I was right in perceiving the whole blogging thing as a fad since one by one, those other bloggers stopped updating their sites. Even the most prolific of them before have stopped blogging. For some, I guess they were just really following the trend and when it stopped becoming the "it" thing to do, they stopped doing it. For some, life got in the way. I know one blogger who was actually updating his site quite often but when he graduated from college, his blogging days went kaput. Now, among my circle of close blogger friends, only two of us are left standing: me and KC. KC is the trend setter, the one who started blogging essays. But she hasn't been updating as often anymore since she is busy working. Me, I'm still updating quite often since it's the off season here in our company. But it's quite lonely that there are only two of us left. I have no other blogs to read and those other people stopped reading blogs when they stopped writing them. Talagang matira ang matibay... Or matira ang bored lagi. :-P

Unbelievable

Oh my goodness... Bianca Ryan was only 11 when she joined America's Got Talent and boy does she really have talent! Her voice is so good, especially for someone her age! Now I always have issues with children singing adult song because of the whole "creepy" factor but in her case, I'm totally fine with it as her voice is so mature and it matches the songs! Wow... Really, wow!

HT

ahahaha... panalo... kinikilig ako ngayon hahaha... ht na naman!!! :-P

saying goodbye is hard to do

'Tis a sad week for me as I have to say goodbye to two special people in my life.

The first person to leave is Kuya JC, one of my co-auxiliaries in the PRM. The two of us started in the movement at the same time. I never really became close to him then but I knew that he is a nice guy. A few years ago, Kuya JC left for the USA. He returned about a month ago for a vacation. And it was so fun to have him around. We still didn't become really close to one another this time around but having him here was so great as he is a wonderful guy, very friendly to everyone. When he returned, it was like he was never gone. He joined our meetings, joined the retreats, joined gimiks. And his return really showed how friendly he is as he immediately became close to a lot of the new auxis. This past week, the auxis practically spent every single day together with him. And last night was our last night with him. Kakaiyak... I really didn't want to say goodbye. Everyone was hugging him but I don't do hugs. I don't do goodbyes. But then I thought, I have to hug him. I don't know when I'll be able to do that again. So I hugged him. I will miss him so much.

The second person who's leaving my life is our househelp, Ate Vicky. We call her Ate Bek... But Ate Bek is more that a househelp to us, she is like our second mother. She is not our yaya but she always took care of us. I remember one time when I was a kid, I had a fight with my mom. So I locked myself up in my room and missed dinner as a result. Then someone knocked on my door, it was Ate Bek bringing me dinner and Mentos for dessert. It was such a motherly moment for her. After that time, even if the two of us were always fighting or palagi akong nangungutos, I've always thought of her as our "madrasta". Lately, Ate Bek has become sickly. She has a cough that never seems to go away. She is becoming weak, having a hard time to go up the stairs. A lot of ailments always going her way. So she decided that it's time for her to rest. I don't want her to go. I've always thought that when she is going to retire, she would be retiring at our home with us taking care of her just like she is our mother. But of course, my real mother won't allow that. So she's going back to Capiz, our province. Hopefully, I will get to visit her there. It will never be the same in our home without her. Because even if she is the help, she is also family.

I really hate goodbyes...

bye kuya jc

Puntahan ka namin sa Amerika pag may pera na!!!